Words of a Poet

Fighting the Night
3/19/2010

Not drinking the bottle, has made my mind clear
Every night facing my biggest fear
Reliving pain, hurt, and deep sorrow
Never forgetting the images when I wake up tomorrow
Seeing myself cry in pain
Hurts more than living through it.

Since I’m not numb my mind races
It’s not easy keeping those bad thoughts out
Fighting that addiction
That has been killing me slowly
Long enough to keep me alive
To feel pain again.

Innocent Love
by Matthew Henrickson

It started so fast
And it has lasted so long
An innocent love
Young and immature
But thrown into adulthood so soon.

Our love has always survived
As if it was meant to be
Creating not only love
But another beautiful life.

Through truth and lies
Laughs and cries
Your smile has always shown through
But what happens when
That big grin
Dies and becomes something blue.

Will our love always be true?

I haven’t written in forever, but I have a feeling that is just the first to come. I feel like I am at a place that I hate being in. My life just feels like a fight.

This is one of my favorite poems and I can’t believe I didn’t have this one published on here. This poem was actually inspired by a book as well as how I felt at the time. High school can be brutal.

The book was The Afterlife by Gary Soto.

Ghost Afterlife
3/25/04

Like a ghost
You see right through me
Invisible to your sight,
but I’m here

Like a ghost
You walk right through me
I’m undetectable from your touch,
but I’m here

Like a ghost
You can’t hear me
My words have fallen deaf to your ears,
but I’m here

Like a ghost
You can feel my presence
but your not sure if I’m real
I’ve been overlooked, but I’m here

Like a ghost, you can reach through my body
Which you’ve already done
And pull out my non-existent heart
Which you’ve already broken

All I am now is a ghost
Trying not to disappear
Piece by piece I start to vanish
Trying to hold on, to my afterlife

By Matthew Henrickson

No Longer

It’s always a new excuse
Always a new reason
Another retreat from a fight
Making it my fault.

It shows you don’t care
Your fights are one-sided
Never mature enough
To understand both sides.

I’m tired of begging
I’m tired of pleading
Your attention isn’t worth it
It shouldn’t be a fight
It should be a given.

Going back to never enough
I’m sorry I don’t have anymore to give
My body, soul, and mind are so exhausted
From your constant ‘taking’.

I no longer have the strength
I no longer have the endurance
I no longer have the patience
I no longer have the will to make my heart hurt.

by Matthew Henrickson

I’m not sure if I like this one, and it feels more like a song. Anyhow it’s new.

What Does It Mean?

What does it mean
When eye contact goes out the window
And avoidance becomes the regular
You seem to always avoid me,
And I hide way too much

No more quick hugs in the hallway
No more sweet kisses in the kitchen
No more love on the highway
No more subtle touches throughout the day

I grab your hand
I try to hold it
Like quicksand I fall right through
You brush me off every chance you get
As I reach to hug you
I hug myself…

Each time I fail my heart beats faster
Now all alone seems to be where I fit.

by Matthew Henrickson

Silent Defeat
Written 9/9/09!

It’s all coming back
The buried pain
Unresolved anger
The burning soul
And dissolving life

The pens run out of ink
The story of my heart
Exploding on to the page
Right through the paper.

The dark hole opening up
Trying to swallow me slowly
I’ve fought it for so long
I can’t get away

The darkness comes
The light goes black
The air runs cold
And I succumb to your attack

The only thing left is Silence
And Defeat.

by Matthew Henrickson

I’m Disappointed Too

I’m disappointed in this life
That slowly eats me away
Every moment I stand idle
Not knowing what to do with you.

I’m disappointed in you
Letting the insignificant people
Affect you, they way they do
Pulling you down with them.

I’m disappointed that they pull you away
From me.
It’s all you think about,
Leaving no time for me.

I’m disappointed to have to ask you
To care, or to at least pretend.
When am I on your mind?
When is it me that you think about?

Not knowing that
Has left me most disappointed of all.

by Matthew Henrickson

My Love

My love is shy, as it’s been hurt before
My heart has been broken piece by piece
But pulls together
To love again.

My love is unique, it takes care of everything
No matter the problem
My love is there
To fix it everything.

My love is sensitive
It hates doing all the work
One sided love
May be the worst pain of all.

My love is looking for a lover
To reciprocate loves fate
To come together and change
My love, into our love.

by Matthew Henrickson

Losing Your Mind

It’s hard to say one thing
When everything comes out together
My thoughts are paragraphs
Instead of one line at a time.

Confused at what the think
When you’re always not sure
Careful where to go
When I’m never sure where you are.

I’ve lost your mind
It’s always somewhere else
I can only hope and pray
That I haven’t lost your heart too.

by Matthew Henrickson

The worst is I take all of this time thinking about you and writing poetry about you, and it doesn’t seem to matter. Only for you, but does it matter?

Only For You

The words don’t matter
They never change
The time doesn’t matter
It’s never the same
The day doesn’t count
Because I never check the date
Regardless of the location
I love you the same
Throw away my money
I’ll make you more
Throw away my food
I’ll cook you more
Throw away my watch
I’ll turn back the clock
Throw away the rules
I’ll find a way to break them
Throw away our love
But I’ll never stop

by Matthew Henrickson