Shirt off my back

Matthew Henrickson Poetry

At night I try to sleep at homeless and hurt people know where I sleep so they come and check on me. Visit. So we aren’t alone.

Loneliness is one of the hardest thing I deal with. Being hungry sucks but knowing you are alone is hard. Try to sleep and you hear footsteps walking by so you open your eyes. You cling your stuff not knowing who it is. I sleep on my duffle bag and clutch my backpack at night just hoping I get some sleep.

But I consider all these new people I’ve met friends. We share what we have if its anything. It’s special in my opinion. “Will you watch my stuff” and you just hope you can trust that. You don’t really know. Then a snake in the grass comes steal your stuff.

At the end of the day though the connections I’ve made with these people is special. No one else is looking out for us. We have to look out for eachother. So that’s what we do.

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Can You Hear Me From Heaven?

Matthew Henrickson Poetry

Mom are you listening?
I need you my guardian angel
Pick up Heaven’s phone
I’ve been call you
I want to make you proud
I just don’t know how
Please just grant me my wings
So I can be an Angel just like you
I could fly and come see you
Through the clouds
And you could sing to me again
Like nothing is wrong
You are my sunshine… my only sunshine

Mom I’m so lost
I’m bleeding inside and out
Cuts, bruises, scars, and pain
And it all feels the same
As I yell out “I’m not okay!”
It kills me a little each day
Without you

By Matthew Henrickson

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Do I Not?

Matthew Henrickson Poetry

I feel like a fool
Thinking this time will be different
If this is love I don’t want any
All I want to do
Is make you happy

When I see you
Do I not always have a present
Just to see you smile
When I kiss you
Do you not always kiss me back?
With that passion
When I tell you I love you
Don’t you always tell me I love you too
And I know you do
So I give you all of my heart
At the sametime

When you hit me
Do I not bleed?
The floor a sea of red
When you knock me down
Do I not bruise?
My body full of pain too sore to move
Do I not cry?
Its been hard to keep a dry eye.

When you break promises
We both made
Does my heart not break
I’ve given you my promise
And it’s never been broken

Your guard is still up
I’ve tried to break down your walls
Everytime I try
I fail and I fall
My heart is under attack
And as I turn around
I pull the knife out of my back

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Lowered Expectations Poem

Matthew Henrickson Poetry

its all my fault
Lowered Expectations

I’ve never felt like…
Such a failure
Repeating the same patterns
Pain is all that occurs
Disappointment and shame
Wrong decisions and blame
Addictions on the outside
Demons within
I close my eyes
and the nightmares begin

It’s fault like always
Never right at the start
The only expectation I live up to
Is breaking your heart

by Matthew Henrickson

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Same Old Me

Matthew Henrickson Poetry

Same Old Me

My mind is scrambled
Nothing makes sense
The letters written down don’t make words
The feelings are too tense
My body tightens
A belt around my heart
Almost ready to explode in my chest…
Just to get some rest.
Squeezing out my soul
Dripping out of my brain
While my thoughts
Slowly drive me insane
Trying to keep it in
Trying to fight the fight
And bring it all back within
This is what you see
And all it is to you… is the same old me.

by Matthew Henrickson

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Our Unclear Future

Matthew Henrickson Poetry

Our Unclear Future

Why would you want me…
When I don’t even want to be around myself?
Too messed up to even figure out what is wrong
My mind is dry
My heart is broken
My throat is shy
I regret what is spoken.

Our future unclear
I know this isn’t right
But in the back of my mind
You are worth the fight.
When I’m with you
It feels like it should
But when you leave me
I know we never could.

This has to be worth it
Otherwise I wouldn’t care
I catch myself watching you sleep
I can only stare.
I know you can’t
And I know you won’t
But I just want to hear the words
Just this once
Say what you truly feel
Exactly… what I want to hear.

by Matthew Henrickson

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Keep Dreaming

Matthew Henrickson Poetry

Keep Dreaming

I don’t want to sleep
I don’t want to dream
I don’t want to see your face…
Every time I close my eyes.
Even if you are sleeping next to me…
You are still in my dreams.

by Matthew Henrickson

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One More

Matthew Henrickson Poetry

One More

One more time
One more kiss
One more night
One more…

I’ll only ask for one more…
Once more.

by Matthew Henrickson

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Trying To Forget Poem

Matthew Henrickson Poetry

Trying To Forget
by Matthew Henrickson

Already in too deep
Faced with your secrets to keep
I knew what it was before we started
Too good to be true and soon parted
Showing me a feeling I forgot
The comfort I desperately sought
I lost it so long ago, I forgot how it felt
Being numb so long is how I dealt

I can only put that guard back up
Going numb once again
So I can live again
And fall asleep tonight

My mind is playing tricks on me
Becoming obsessive with it…obviously
Allowing my focus to remain
Only on this pain
As I toss and turn trying to forget…
You are just fine… I bet

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Lost and Found Poem

Matthew Henrickson Poetry

Lost and Found
by Matthew Henrickson

You looked into my eyes
You looked into my soul
You saw what was there
The pain I’ve buried so deep

You gave me what you could
Maybe it was what I needed
And you left in the night
Because you were never mine to keep

You let me be myself, there was no games to play
I let you in my head, I didn’t think you’d stay
I didn’t think I’d have to worry
That I’d see your face in my sleep

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