Being alone always represents darkness to me, especially being lost and alone. I picture myself at the bottom of some hole, or wandering around at night.

The sky went black,
My eyes went blind,
Darkness surrounded me,
When you left me behind

excerpt from Path of Darkness

I found that searching through several old poems and I thought it was pretty dead on about how I feel right now. However after hitting rock bottom, you can always go up from there.

If you can make it through the night, there’s a brighter day.”
— Tupac Shakur

Another good one is Tupac’s poem, The Tears in Cupid’s Eyes.

When it comes to friendships, relationships, and just general things in life it’s tough to set a part what is true and real. Your heart and your love is so strong on so many levels, your eye can be blind to the truth. When it comes to certain things, I like to reflect on this quote:

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

by Albert Einstein

After I put this quote on my Facebook I got asked what brought it on. My response:

Just thinking about the past. What really brought it on was I went out for a few hours. I had texted a few people while i was out and all that. When i got home no one had texted me back… no one had missed me.

I just feel alone sometimes. No one needs me anymore, no one seems to want me. I’m not desired, called upon, checked on. I’m just me. And being me is lonely.

What is the true meaning of love? Leave it to 4-8 year old kids to tell you. Some of these answers are really sweet. Enjoy!

What love means to a 4-8 year old kids…

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‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.

So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love…’

Rebecca- age 8
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‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’

Billy – age 4
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‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’

Karl – age 5
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‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’

Chrissy – age 6

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‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired..’

Terri – age 4
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‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.’

Danny – age 7
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‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that… They look gross when they kiss’

Emily – age 8
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‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.’

Bobby – age 7
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‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,’

Nikka – age 6
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‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.’

Noelle – age 7
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‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’
Tommy – age 6

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‘During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’

Cindy – age 8

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‘My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night..’

Clare – age 6
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‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’

Elaine – age 5
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‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’

Chris – age 7
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‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’

Mary Ann – age 4
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‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’

Lauren – age 4
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‘When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’

Karen – age 7

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‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.’

Mark – age 6
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‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’

Jessica – age 8
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The best one was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

‘Nothing, I just helped him cry’
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I asked my own 3 year old son what love meant. He said “I don’t know”. Then I asked him “Well why do you tell me you love me so much?”

He said “Because your the bestest dad”

I’ll take that answer.

Nothing on this planet can compare with a woman’s love–it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet and unconditional. Pure. If you are her man, she will walk on water and through a mountain for you, too, no matter how you’ve acted out, no matter what crazy thing you’ve done, no matter the time or demand. If you are her man, she will talk to you until there just aren’t any more words left to say, encourage you when you’re at rock bottom and think there just isn’t any way out, hold you in her arms when you’re sick, and laugh with you when you’re up. And if you’re her man and that woman loves you–I mean really loves you?– she will shine you up when you’re dusty, encourage you when you’re down, defend you even when she’s not so sure you were right, and hang on your every word, even when you’re not saying anything worth listening to. And no matter what you do, no matter how many times her friends say you’re no good, no matter how many times you slam the door on the relationship, she will give you her very best and then some, and keep right on trying to win over your heart, even when you act like everything she’s done to convince you she’s The One just isn’t good enough.

That’s a woman’s love — it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance.

- by Steve Harvey in Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man Book

Well if you put it that way, I don’t think I’ve felt a woman’s love for a really long time.

Now even the fish are depressed. What am I supposed to ‘catch’ ?

The San Diego Union Tribune posted this short article:

“Researchers have found that antidepressants in rivers and lakes, part of the flood of pharmaceuticals washing into the environment, make fish sad, casuing them to cease eating or looking for mates. Some fish even stop swimming, preferring instead to simply hang vertically in the water.”

Even though “fish in the sea” is a metaphor, seems so real doesn’t it?

Dear Lord,

Please forgive us for all are sins we have brought upon us. And look down upon us with forgiveness for all are sins we will have in the future. I know you understand that brothers ain’t perfect, but we try lord. We try to keep our heads up in bad times. This is a bad time. Show us the way. And if you can’t show us the way… then forgive us for being lost.

Watch it on Youtube.

When You Won’t Even Talk To Me?

If you want to discard 10 years+ of friendship over anything stupid I did to you when I was 16, stupid and immature… but was the best friend you could ask for 99% of the time. Walk away from it, and don’t look back. Fine.

I’ve cried over it, but I’m done now.

The worst part? You won’t ever see this. And probably, won’t care to.

“I’m done looking into the past just to find you.”

Quote by Matthew Henrickson