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Tag: "Matthew Henrickson"

No Longer

[ 0 ] September 18, 2009

No Longer

It’s always a new excuse
Always a new reason
Another retreat from a fight
Making it my fault.

It shows you don’t care
Your fights are one-sided
Never mature enough
To understand both sides.

I’m tired of begging
I’m tired of pleading
Your attention isn’t worth it
It shouldn’t be a fight
It should be a given.

Going back to never enough
I’m sorry I don’t have anymore to give
My body, soul, and mind are so exhausted
From your constant ‘taking’.

I no longer have the strength
I no longer have the endurance
I no longer have the patience
I no longer have the will to make my heart hurt.

by Matthew Henrickson

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Silent Defeat

[ 0 ] September 9, 2009

Silent Defeat
Written 9/9/09!

It’s all coming back
The buried pain
Unresolved anger
The burning soul
And dissolving life

The pens run out of ink
The story of my heart
Exploding on to the page
Right through the paper.

The dark hole opening up
Trying to swallow me slowly
I’ve fought it for so long
I can’t get away

The darkness comes
The light goes black
The air runs cold
And I succumb to your attack

The only thing left is Silence
And Defeat.

by Matthew Henrickson

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My Love

[ 0 ] August 12, 2009

Broken Heart Bandaid

My Love

My love is shy, as it’s been hurt before
My heart has been broken piece by piece
But pulls together
To love again.

My love is unique, it takes care of everything
No matter the problem
My love is there
To fix it everything.

My love is sensitive
It hates doing all the work
One sided love
May be the worst pain of all.

My love is looking for a lover
To reciprocate loves fate
To come together and change
My love, into our love.

by Matthew Henrickson

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My Angelic Demon

[ 0 ] June 16, 2009

My Angelic Demon
written June 13th, 2009

Drinking is my Angelic Demon
The alcohol puts out the flames
The fire that engulfs my heart
Numbing the pain
That surrounds my life.

It stills my shaky hands
Clots my open wounds
Focuses my wandering mind
Calms my worried soul

To Quit
or Try To Forget
Is not a fair exchange
The impossible choice to make.

Each day is a battle
Only losing to win
The losing battle…
Again Tomorrow, it will begin.

by Matthew Henrickson

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Every Night

[ 0 ] June 15, 2009

Every Night
written June 14th, 2009

Do you know how you got to bed last night?

I made your bed
Fluffed your pillows
Carried you across the room,
And tucked you in.

I’d tuck you in
Make you comfortable
Sing a son
For the rest of my life

Just so you’d sleep well
To ward off bad dreams
To keep you safe
From the darkness

Sometimes I wonder,
Why am I never tucked in?

The only thing missing for you…
Is a mint on your pillow.

By Matthew Henrickson

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Loves Deceit Poem Interpretation

[ 3 ] May 18, 2009

Loves Deceit is a poem by Big Rube that was recited on the movie ATL. It’s been a popular poem on our site and many of our readers have read this poem. One reader, Holden, commented “can someone explain this poem to me in depth please? and yes i know it has to do with love.” So I decided to break down the poem by paragraph. My analysis of the poem will be in italics.

“Loves Deceit”

Pleasure turns to the pain,
Of the lessons learned from the strain,
Of the questions burned in my brain,
About whether to love is humane
In its touch.

The good feeling of love is gone, and now it hurts. From heartbreak lessons of life are learned, discovering how much love can hurt. Love is pain, is it right to feel this bad?

These thoughts are like salmon
Swimming upstream
In the tears of your deceit,
Fighting the current hurt
That kills more than is created
By the chaos of our intertwined emotions:
Chaotic because the anchor
Of Eros’ arrow has been plucked from the vessel
Of my undying infatuation.

The thoughts of the broken love are difficult to comprehend, almost impossible. It’s like fish swimming the wrong way, impossible. The feeling of a lost love doesn’t make sense, emotions running wild. Eros, the Greek god of love and sexual desire, now gone. Sort of like removing a love connection made by Cupid (Eros is less cliche then cupid, makes the poem a bit better).

Separation not as simple as the distance between us,
My mind no longer possessed
By the demons
That had been the overseers
Of my enslavement to your lies.

Being apart from love isn’t as simple as something like time or distance, it’s more complex. However, no longer being in love has made it possible to get away from the person and lies.

The seeds of these lies,
Rooted so deeply
They have cracked the foundation
Of what we once shared,
Allowing the faith in us I had sealed inside
To gush out like a river,
Ripping the image of our future together
From my thoughts
As violently and as brutally
As if it were a child being taken
From his mother’s arms.

The lies broke us apart, they ruined the relationship and the love that used to be there. He thought the love would survive but after it didn’t he let the thought go. To let in the pain that was unbearable, referencing a child being separated from his mother. Separating something that isn’t meant to be apart.

I’m left surrounded in darkness,
But I refuse to be swallowed by it,
My loneliness like the night air.
Invisible to the eye, oblivious to the touch,
In its cold uncomfortableness.

Now alone, but fighting against the loneliness. Refusing to give into the pain. It’s overwhelming but able to be hidden.

Yet if I could do it all over again,
I’d do it in the same skin I’m in.
To lay down and let love die,
Just stay down and let love lie:
No, no, not I.
I’ll stay ’round and let love fly,
Even though I have seen its darkest form, deceit.
Nothing else could taste this warm
Or feel this sweet.

But if it could be done all over again, it would be done exactly the same. Basically “its better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”. At the end they still believe in love and they’d never surrender that feeling. Even though the end result was heartbreak, it was “warm and sweet” while it lasted.

by Big Rube
interpreted by Matthew Henrickson

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Look Me in the Eyes

[ 0 ] February 3, 2009

Funny, this is what I wrote exactly 5 years ago. Must of been in class…

Look Me in the Eyes
February 3rd, 2004

Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t need me?
Can you look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me?
As my eyes pierce your heart
Can you look me in the eyes… and watch mine fall apart?
Can you look me in the eyes…
And keep telling me these lies?
My eyes looking through you
Seeing right past you
Can’t you look into mine like you used to?
Can’t you gaze into mine like you did when you loved me?
Look into my eyes… You’ll never know what you’ll see
Entrancing… your eyes guide me
I want mine to do the same

Can I look you in the eyes…
And hold back these cries?
Can you look into my eyes? You and I… Forever.
This moment everlasting
Looking into mine… looking into yours
I couldn’t want anything more
Just this frozen moment in time
Look into my eyes… like you were mine

Can you look me in the eyes?
Can you… even… just… look at me?

by Matthew Henrickson

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Too Disappointed

[ 2 ] January 27, 2009

Too Disappointed
November 10th, 2003

Too scared to move forward
Impossible to go back
So I just sit here idle
Living my life like I do
Trying not to get too close to you
Cautious of your type
I know how it goes
Bringing back the pain that my heart knows

I can’t believe your promises
They sound so familiar
Promises are just disappointments in the making
And I…
Have been disappointed…
Too many times.

by Matthew Henrickson

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Starting Line

[ 0 ] January 26, 2009

Another new one, just kind of writing for writing.

Starting Line

Why start at the top
If you never plan to finish
Why start at the bottom
When you’ll never get to the top
What’s the point in being in the middle
You’ll get lost in the crowd
And never move up or down.
What’s the point
In starting at all?

by Matthew Henrickson

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Sirens

[ 0 ] January 22, 2009

This one is weird, I was just kind of writing. Strange because it was daytime.

Sirens

The sirens blare as they chase the night
Always on call to fight death
Never taking a night off
The sirens fly to save you
Every night the sirens are too late
Too late to do any good
They get lost in the night
Lost in the darkness
They are just a sound.
A thought.

by Matthew Henrickson

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