What is The Razors Jaw?
Matthew Henrickson Poetry, Personal February 20th, 2008On January 1st, I received a great review of this blog at Darn Good Reviews. He connected with several of my poems and had questions about The Razors Jaw. I’ve never really done this before, but even though it is an old poem I am going to break down the poem.
The Razors Jaw
I’m falling and falling… I hit the ground
I can’t get up and look around
I’m stuck in a deep dark hole
And it’s eating my soul.
I can feel it’s fangs ripping into me
Tearing so violently
There’s no point in fighting
I can’t stop his vicious biting
He soon swallows me whole
Succeeding in his goal.
I felt so alone during the time when I wrote a lot of these poems. It just burned inside. Nothing is perfect, but I put myself out so much, that’s just the way I am. Of course that means you will be hurt a lot. The Razors Jaw is just what it sounds like. The reference is to cutting myself. I used to get very upset and it would calm me down.
I can feel it all
Still suffering from my fall
My arms bleeding… soon to scar
My deepest cuts by far
The Razors teeth sink into my skin
It smiles with a grin
He knows he’s won
He knows I’m done.
Falling would just be the feeling I felt. Never can get my feet down. I cut sometimes, never too deep, just more scratches than anything. They are gone now…
The dark place… the black hole… it’s what I feel
Yet the hole I try to conceal
But I always fall in
Falling and Falling until I’m sucked in
I try to let the light show through
Yet it soon turns to blue
And finally… goes out
It’s dark again.
Darkness was how I felt with everything. I was needy in a sense I wanted someone always there with me. Even then the ‘lights’ never turned back on. Even though I had people surrounding me and helping so much, they always found a way to let me down in the end.
It’s tough to read poems like that and kind of feel what I felt again. I am thankful I had poetry among other things to express myself. If I didn’t have a paper and a pen with me at all times I don’t know what I would of done.
I still turn to that now, as you can see about the poem I just wrote last night.
What is The Razors Jaw?,
February 20th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Thanks for sharing all, Matthew. I can count more than a few times where I’ve experienced what you’ve described here. I think a lot more than you think have gone through it at one time or another. But it’s in our nature to look ahead and keep trying to find something more and be more than we are.
February 27th, 2008 at 7:53 am
For people who have never cut — this poem is true to how you feel when you are a cutter — and the fact that you admit that it would calm you down is amazing. I hope you are in a better place in your head now. I pray for you.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Thanks for the comments guys 🙂
As I said I don’t feel that way anymore, but thanks for asking. I’m okay. 🙂