Words of a Poet

Sunrise Sunset

Another sunrise another sunset
Waking up on the street
Always back on my feet
Carrying everything I own on my back
Looking for the next person to attack
Staring at the sky
Constantly asking why
What did I do to deserve this life?
Why am I being punished?
Or am I just being tested?
Knocked down
Knocked out
Over again
And from the ashes this Phoenix continues to rise
Yet I look in the mirror with these blue eyes
And see someone I don’t recognize
I see someone I despise

by Matthew Henrickson

The street lamps have become my night light
My backpack has become my pillow
My jacket has become my blanket
The hard cement has become my bed
The distant sounds of cars, sing me to sleep
The people walking by look at me with pity
Just another homeless man is how they view me

I’ve had a lot of bad things happen to me being homeless. Robbed, beaten up, had a gun to my head. One thing I will never forget, is this kid. I cried… so I am going to tell you a story.

I was outside a laundry mat with my backpack and duffle bag. Obviously he was bored and kept spying on me. For some reason he kept poking his head out. I was carrying my old hot wheels for some reason on me so I gave him one. He played with it and then came back out to watch me. They had those little machines for quarters so you could get a toy.

I had a few quarters on me so I said ok pick one! Which do you want? He chose one played with it for a bit and then came out again. Ok which one do you want now? This one. Ok… turn the lever I’ll put the quarters in. This happened until I was out of quarters.

The mom whispered thank you, no 5ish year old wants to be at a boring laundry mat. He was bored.

The following things got very real for me. The boy not knowing, asked me where I lived or why I don’t go home. The mom not wanting to say hes homeless, said oh he’s moving. He said well we are going to the beach today can you come?!?

Obviously not knowing these people, I said maybe next time buddy. Just promise you will be good for your mom and sister ok?

As they were leaving they handed me the $3 I spent on him through the machines. I said no no no. They said no we appreciate you just keeping him busy.
I felt happy I did that for the kid, and terrible they made me take that $3.

Ever since I became homeless a few weeks ago my life has completely changed. I lost a lot of possessions. Truth is I didn’t even know I had many of them. They were locked away in a closet for 12 years. Many things I wasn’t attached to. All that matters now is to have food, water, somewhere to sleep, and somewhere to use the bathroom, These things are vital now when before it was just a common thing. My world has completely flipped upside down.

As I said I lost a lot of things. I don’t need my trophies to remind me how great of a player I was. I don’t need a poster I had since I was 16 to remind me. I don’t need that PS2 I haven’t touched in years. I don’t need that kitchen table I neve3r used. I don’t need that half bottle of shampoo. Those clothes I never wore I won’t miss them. The trinkets I collected can just be a memory. The random things in my “junk drawer” are gone I just never threw them away.

I’ve already learned a lot and its weird the things you would think I would say first. The first thing is the people. My perspective has completely changed. I used to think if you were homeless you were just a bums that wouldn’t get a job. Try coming to church or a shelter with me and I will prove you otherwise. Hearing some of their stories they are lucky just to be alive. I haven’t had a hard life compared to them. Sometimes asking for money is all you can do. Yes when I had a job I would look out for them, food and water. I did my best and felt blessed. I could share what I had with those forgotten.

Funny thing is the same homeless people I would help are helping me now. Whether with knowledge, love, prayer, faith, friendship, a beer, a cigarette, whatever it may be. I’ve been told so many times “Matthew do you remember when you did this for me? I don’t have a lot but let me help you too” I think they call that Karma.

There is such a stigma on giving money to homeless. They are just gonna buy cigarettes, beer, or drugs. Sometimes yeah that’s true. You know when you “need” a coffee? Sometimes I “need” a cigarette. Yet in any case a few dollars can change someone’s life.

This morning I was asleep in front of a restaurant on the sidewalk. Throughout the night I hear sounds that wake me up. The car lights wake me up, shining in my face. This morning I hear “excuse me” He says it twice. Instantly I thought it was time to wake up and move so they could get into the restaurant. I pull the hoodie from my eyes and see a nice gentlemen. I had heard his car earlier “BEEP BEEP BEEP”. He was unloading for the store next door. So I said “Yes?” He handed me $2 dollars and said I hope you are okay and bless you.

You may think $2 is nothing. You are homeless $2 is a lot for you but not me. Sure I could of just went to get a beer or wasted it on something.

Do you know what I did with that money? I used it to ride the bus to a job interview. That $2 gesture might change my life and that man might never know what he did.

All I Need Is You
December 18th, 2010

I can’t help that I think
About the past
The Present
and What could be in the future

I can’t help to miss you when you’re not there
I can’t help to think about you when you’re gone
I can’t help to want to talk to you constantly
I can’t help that I put you first.

I love you more than you know
You are the one I chose
The one I want
The one I can’t live without

When I am with you, I have no doubts
With one word you can change my mood
My world, every emotion
The power you have over me,
Is as scary as it sounds.

It’s not my words, but my actions that should prove
That no matter what, I will always love you.
And I hope you will see
That all I need
Is the same thing.

by Matthew Henrickson

Empty Vase
November 22, 2008

The flowers I got you
Just sit and look beautiful
They drink their water
Soon it runs dry.

The flowers
that I once bought for you
That made me smile
And drank that water
No longer are there.

They withered away and died
They never made you smile
You never noticed the effort
You never stopped to smell the roses
You never saw me trying.

by Matthew Henrickson

How Could You Be So Heartless?
11/30/2008

I try to hold you close
And you push me away
Somehow it’s not the same
How could you be so heartless?

I try to figure out your life
But you tell me to stay out of your business
You ask me where I’m going
Just so you can be alone
When did being together start to mean we weren’t alone?
How could you be so heartless?

I try to tell you I love you
To show you
Bring it back to when I felt
Like you loved me.
For what I took for granted.
Fopr what you don’t seem to care for.

How could we be so heartless?

by Matthew Henrickson

Inspired by the song of course. Check out the Heartless Lyrics by Kayne West.

Obviously not meant for a man to sing to, but anyone can relate. Not so much with dresses or Jimmy Choo’s, but all the emotion, feeling, and words are all there. I never used to go out without you Not sure I remember how to.

T-Shirt Lyrics by Shontelle

Try’na decide Try’na decide
If I really wanna go out tonight
I never used to go out without ya
Not sure I remember how ta

Gonna be late Gonna be late
But, all my girls don’t have to wait ’cause
I dont know if I like my outfit
I tried everything in my closet

(Chorus)
Nothin feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Takin them off ’cause I feel a fool
Try’na dress up when Im missin you

Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on

(Verse 2)
Hey

Gotta be strong gotta be strong but Im
Really hurtin now that you’re gone
I thought maybe I’d do some shopping
But I couldnt get past the door and

Now I dont know, now I dont know If Im
Ever really gonna let you go
And I couldnt even leave my apartment
I’m stripped down, torn up about it

(Chorus)
Nothin feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Takin them off ’cause I feel a fool
Try’na dress up when Im missin’ you

Im’a step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
(’cause I missed you, ’cause I missed you)
With nothing but your T-shirt on
(said I missed you … baby)

(Repeated On Verse 2)
Now I dont know, now I dont know If Im
Ever really gonna let you go
And I couldnt even leave my apartment I’m stripped down, torn up about it

(Half Chorus)
Nothing feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Taking them off ’cause I feel a fool
Try’na dress up when Im missin you

Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

(Chorus)
Nothing feels right when Im not with you
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choos
Taking them off ’cause I feel a fool
Try’na dress up when Im missin you

Imma step out of this lingerie
Curl up in a ball with something Hanes
In bed I lay

With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on
With nothing but your T-shirt on

Make Everyday Count
Written October 7th, 2008

If I wrote you a poem everyday
Would you read it?
If I wrote you a song everyday
Would you sing it?
If I said I loved you everyday
Would you hear it?

I’ve written you everyday
And you didn’t read it.
I’ve written you a song everyday
And you didn’t sing it.
And I’ve loved you everyday
And you didn’t feel it.

by Matthew Henrickson

Words of a Poet was inspired by my love for poetry. This blog will be an outlet for my poetry as well as a personal blog for myself. I will be posting other famous poems and readings from other poets. I would love to have open submissions to other poets and authors to contribute and share their work.